They’re Just Words

Remember kids saying “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”? The truth is that sticks and stones may just break the bones, but words can break the spirit. We are often upset about physical abuse of a child, but how much more damage is done verbally. Physical damage is often visible immediately, but verbal damage may not show up for a while.

Job’s friends were trying to help him understand the reasons for his problems, and yet he was hurt by their words. Job 19:2-3 describes the effect. “How long will ye vex my soul, and break me in pieces with words? These ten times have ye reproached me: ye are not ashamed that ye make yourselves strange to me.” In their efforts to discipline their children, well meaning parents can do great harm. A father I know repeatedly told his daughter she was no good until she got involved in illegal activity. She’d spent all her time up to that point trying to get his approval.

Even when they are not directed against the person hearing them, words can do great harm. Parents that disparage their mates destroy the relationship of their children to their other parent, and sometimes to the person they marry as well, teaching them by example to disrespect their parents. How many children of divorce have been deprived of a relationships with their father or mother because of this? It is the source of most prejudice.

God has a great deal to say about what we say. Matthew 12:34-37 teaches a great deal about the subject. “O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things. But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.”

The words we say indicate the state of our heart. Both the choice of words, and our subject matter indicates what is in the heart. Curse words, sexual innuendo, and disparaging speech are equally indicative of a corrupt heart. Our judgment by God will be based on our speech, on every word. As David said in Psalm 139:4, “For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether.” As a result, he prayed “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer,” in Psalm 19:14.

James 1:26 tells us that a person who doesn’t control his tongue’s religion is worthless regardless of any training or titles he may have. “If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain.” He is fooling himself by his claims. James 3:2 stresses that control of the tongue implies the ability to control other parts of one’s life. “For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.” Proverbs 21:23 declares, “Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.”